Psych-Out

Balancing by mexxik (1)

How many times do we lament, “I need balance in my life”? Balance so we can get to the gym, or practice yoga. Balance to quiet the naggings of work, play, love, obligation — that yearned for state of equilibrium where our footing seems secure.

Balance is static. Predictable. Sustained. Like weights on a scale. But, weights are dead weight. Inert. Unless an outside force pushes, they will remain in that balance, indefinitely. To weights on a scale, life doesn’t happen.

Life is not inert. Life is a flux of continuous motion. In life, there is no balance, only balancing.

“The dog needs her walk. The deadline is due. I haven’t been to the gym. When’s my daughter’s soccer game? Sex. What’s that?” If these forces aren’t bad enough, in our brain there is the firing of several billion neurons with their several trillion synapses. At any given moment, several hundred thousand brain circuits are bound to be lit up. Forget the boss, or the sudden deadline — it only takes one of those circuits to trigger a thought, a fear, or a desire that can, in itself, knock us off center. The tightrope sways. The threat of falling is dizzying. Only then do we become conscious of our footing.

Balance is a snapshot in time. A split second where by chance, or by effort, we hit that moment where nothing moves. Imagine a busy urban street. Pedestrians, cars, delivery trucks, sidewalk preachers, honking horns, an ambulance racing through traffic. Snap a photograph. We freeze the frame. Voila. Balance! Look away from the frame, the scene has shifted. Balance, like that moment, slips from our grasp. If we are fortunate to find it again, to take another snapshot, inevitably balance will have a different composition.

Our struggle for balance is cousin to a struggle for order. Unwavering. Predictable. Time is harmonized. Energy is held in reserve. Chores done. Deadlines met. Exercise accomplished. We set schedules, make lists, buy closet organizers, tap elaborate technological gadgets. Still, the tightrope sways underfoot.

Nathanael West wrote, “Man has a tropism for order. Keys in one pocket, change in another. Mandolins are tuned G D A E. The physical world has a tropism for disorder, entropy. Man against Nature…the battle of the centuries. Keys yearn to mix with change. Mandolins strive to get out of tune. Every order has within it the germ of destruction.” (2)

The word “balance” is a noun – a state of being, an object that is and will always be. “Balancing” is a present participle — an active present verb tense, current in time, stepping mindfully, and forever seeking itself.

“Balancing” anticipates that inevitably the wind blows, fear grips, obligation calls, people demand, muscles twitch, and desire tweaks. The best we can do is stay conscious of our footing. Continue to separate our keys from our change. I may not find balance, but I can always keep balancing. Karl Wallenda, of the famous Flying Wallenda’s, once said, “Being on a tightrope is living, everything else is waiting.”

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(1) The photo “Balancing” is by mexxik whose work can be found at photoshoptalent.

(2) West, Nathanael. Miss Lonelyhearts & the Day of the Locusts. New York: New Directions, 1962.