Psych-Out :: by michael joseph lmsw

Psych-Out

Sign says, “keep out!”

March 29th, 2009

Urban Confinement II, by Anja Percival

There’s an ache within us — a sense that something essentially human is slipping from our grasp.  We live surrounded by concrete, steel, plastic, and bright unnatural light.  Closed in spaces – whether office cubicles, bedrooms, elevators, our automobiles – are the rule rather than our cozy exception.  Daily, we navigate walkways, gates and fences, crosswalks, locked doors, marked and unmarked property lines.  “No trespassing” signs can bring a contemplative beach stroll to a halt.

We might feel it most in big cities.  No doubt that urban living brings excitement, innovation, and raises incomes and possibilities.   At the same time, the bigger the city, the more crowded our spaces and the more rapid our pace.  In fact, researchers have found that the more populated the city the faster its people walk.   And to move it all along with order and efficiency, time and space has to be structured.  Our lives have become governed by wristwatches, timed traffic lights, scheduling technologies, automatic door locks, and crosswalks.

We’ve learned to live, and even love, our walled-in ordered lives.  The natural world is a wild encroachment, a threat if not bound, ordered, and managed.  Ooooh, baby baby it’s a wild world. “Keep out!” the signs warn.  “Stay within the lines.”  And our ache whispers on.

Signs, by Five Man Electric Band

It shows itself in our chronic anxieties and depressions.  At times, it’s a dull sensation of not being at home in our own skins.  Our blessing and curse is that we’re highly adaptable creatures.  We can learn better than any other creature how to make the most horrid environments home.  In our modern age, we’ve learned to love the comfort and safety of staying inside.

If we’re lucky, once or twice a year we make our escape.  Like hounds dashing through a slit in the screen door, we rush toward our two weeks in the mountains, or by the ocean, or that lakefront cabin.  Hunters hunt.  Rock climbers climb.  Hikers hike.  Campers camp.  Sunners sun.  Then, we rush back to back into the confines of that familiar ache.

Researchers have found that our senses are wired to find certain landscapes appealing.  Our reward circuitry lights up at the sight of hillsides, meandering streams, paths bending around partially blocked views, verdant green foliage capped with color.  To the senses of our evolutionary ancestors these landscapes may have signaled abundance and safety.   Some have argued that our sense of natural beauty is the mechanism that drove our ancestors into suitable habitats.

Pastoral Landscape, Asher Brown Durand, 1861

We are meant to move, not sit around for hours on end watching our tiny little backlit TV and computer screens while eating potato chips. Our visual system loves dashes of color and wide opened spaces with a touch of surrounding mystery.  We are meant to engage our environment, not be confined by it.  We are happiest expressing ourselves.  Listening to the rustling of leaves and babbling of cool water streams.  Using our hands.  Running.  Jumping.  Meandering.  Swimming.  Climbing.  Touching.

To ease that ache need we see past those barriers of concrete and steel?  Need we every now and then throw out our well-ordered schedules for at least one day every week?   It seems we come back into ourselves, if only for a moment, whenever we step off the marked path and into nature’s disordered and wild ways.


Death in the Afternoon

March 7th, 2009

“A querencia is a place the bull naturally wants to go to in the ring… It is a place which develops in the course of the fight where the bull makes his home.  It does not show at once, but develops in his brain as the fight goes on.Death in the Afternoon, Ernest Hemingway

We all have a beast within, a bull to kill…whether it be a habit, a troublesome attachment, a pattern of thought, a sorrow, an addiction, a mood, a fixation, a fear, or something that brings us to rage.

Know that bull.  Study where it’s taken its place of refuge.  That place in your life where it burrows in.  It could be in a bottle of scotch.  It could be a room in the house, a chair, your garage, or even in front of your TV or computer screen.

…in his querencia he is inestimably more dangerous and almost impossible to kill.

It could be a state of mind, or that way in which you address your lover, kids, husband, or wife.  It could be a place in your imagination where you return again and again to relive a conversation, an encounter, or a past or future dread.  It could be a thought, or a cherished belief.

“The bull may take up his querencia in a place where a horse has been killed in a previous fight, where he smells the blood;  a place where he has tossed a bullfighter, or any part of the ring for no apparent reason at all;  simply because he feels at home there.”

In that place, your bull will be confident, brave, and secure.  When you, or anyone else, attempts to challenge it there, you may feel its stubborn refusal in your brooding, or snapping, or numbing, or anger, depression, anxiety, or irritation.  The bull has lifted its horns for the goring.  Pity the poor loved one who tries to step toward it there.

Like a great matador, we need bring the beast out from it’s place of safety.  After a long day’s work, refuse to let it establish its place in your ring.  Risk making it uncomfortable.

“The bull must be brought out;  but he is gone completely on the defensive and will not respond to the cape and will cut at them with his horns, refusing altogether to charge.”

Step away from that computer.  Change your tone of voice.  Refuse to spend the night brooding in that chair.  Reach for that novel you’ve wanted to read, instead of the TV remote.  Pull out that bike, camera or drawing pad, instead of cracking open that beer, marijuana, or bottle of Xanax.  Kiss your partner, instead of barking out that complaint.  (Or stamp your feet and yell, instead of that half-hearted kiss, if that’s where the bull chooses to live.)  Go to that movie by yourself, instead of waiting by the phone.  Cook that delicious meal, instead of another night of pizza or take-out chinese.

That pint of ice cream you seem ever destined to eat?  Look it square in the eyes, then show it your cape.  Weekends get you down?  Drink too much?  Take a canoe trip, instead of burrowing in and letting that bull raise its surly horns through your boredom, or list of domestic chores.

“…a bull who knows how to use his horns and who cannot be made to leave his querencia is as dangerous for the man to come within range of as a rattlesnake….”

Be brave.  Be clever.  Change it up.  Break routine.  Coax it out.  If just for an afternoon, flash your cape, and by surprise, slay the fear that owns you.   Olé!

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Death In Afternoon, Ernest Hermingway.  p150-151